Shit Straight Dudes Are Scared of

"i wouldn't fuck her, she's not even hot"

The Slogan “Dead Men Don’t Rape”

Because it’s totally the same thing as saying we should KILL ALL MEN. That is totally what it means.

Gay Men

Because they might try to put something in my ass!

Other dude’s penii

because if i look at it too long it might turn me gay.

Weird hair

Straight dudes are confused and angered by fashion choices that do not revolve around their penis.

Lil Kim

Reasons straight dudes fear Lil kim:

-Talks about her sexual prowess openly

-Advocates cunnilingus

-Angry black woman

-Thinks she’s hot without conforming to beauty standard

-Hyper Feminine



also no sexy time that doesn’t revolve around me!


because vaginas, ew.

Women calling people rapists

for some reason straight men seem very invested in hypothetically being able to rape people with no repercussions.

because “civil liberty”, “due process”, “innocent until proven guilty”, blah blah blah.

Nina Hagen

reasons why straight men fear Nina:

-Weird hair

-Too much make up

-Amazonian goddess

-Female singer with a deep voice

-Expresses anger + sexual desire